Mama notes

I've been so busy with the Holidays and work that I have been terrible about posting pictures and videos. I have so many adorable ones that I've been wanting to put up. First, I've got to make some notes.
Teo just got his first tooth on Thursday, and it occurred to me that I've yet to document a comparison of milestones for Sapphie and Teo. I'm always talking about how much bigger he is than she was at this age, but there's lots more fun stuff to compare:

Rolling over Sapphie: 5 months (mother's day); Teo: 5 months (father's day!)

Crawling Sapphie: 10 months; Teo: 8.5 months

First tooth Sapphie: 10 months; Teo: 10 months

Stopped swaddling Sapphie: 3-4 months; Teo: 7-8 months

Falling asleep on their own Sapphie: 13 months; Teo: 3-4 months

Sleeping through the night for real Sapphie: 13 months; Teo: Ha! Yeah right!

Walking Sapphie: 1.5 years; Teo: TBD


Those are just a few things that come to mind. Sapphie continues to be an amazing and maternal big sister. We've been butting heads quite a bit lately, as she asserts her independence. We have a lot in common and that makes arguments pretty interesting sometimes. One of our most recent and difficult struggles has been the transition from a crib into a "big-girl bed." I was not ready to make this switch and was planning to do it once Teo was sleeping better at night. But of course as a parent, things never go as planned. Sapphie learned how to jump out of her crib and we quickly realized she was going to hurt herself if we didn't put her in a real bed. Sure we could have gotten one of those tents that keep her in the crib, but come on - she'll be 3 next month. So we went for it...
What a nightmare. 6 weeks of absolute pure hell. Multiple night-time wake ups (and before she was regularly sleeping 14 hours at a clip), then the most obscene early morning rising we've ever seen, including when she was a newborn! What's worse is that as luck would have it, every single time she came into our room to wake me up, Teo and I were sound asleep and she woke us both up. So then he was either up for good at 5am, or I had to try to get him back to sleep. When you're already waking up 3-6 times a night to snuggle your baby, extra wake-ups from an overtired toddler wanting to have a power struggle are NOT WELCOME. We were exhausted and desperate after two weeks, so we put a gate up in her room. Within an hour she had jumped over it. Then, I started to panic. This child is psychotic. She's trying to ruin my life. She wants me to know who's in charge and I'm telling you, I'm a strict mom but sometimes I wonder who's really calling the shots. So I did it. Something I never thought I would do. Something so cheesy, so not me, so...cliche...

I made a sticker chart.

I'm so embarrassed about this chart, you have no idea. But what was I going to do? I was totally desperate. I made the chart, then bought the most amazing scratch-n-sniff stickers for when she did really well; small stickers for when she did an OK job; and I planned to mark really really bad days with an X. I was pretty generous. For example, if she went through the whole night without waking us up, she got a big sticker. If she took a nap, she got a big sticker., etc. After 4 weeks, we were still feeling like things weren't changing. We were still tired, she was still climbing over the gate, waking up at 5:30(!), and sometimes not taking a nap. Oh and by the way on the days she skipped a nap, she usually used the time to tear her entire room apart so that when I went in, I couldn't see the floor. One time she even took her diaper off, put it in a bag, threw it out into the hallway and slammed the door. I was seeing no end in sight when I got my weekly Baby Center email (there are weekly emails to fill you in on your child's development; help you with any issues you might be having; etc...). Wouldn't you know the topic was transitioning out of a crib, and they said to allow a full 6 weeks! And, now that's it's been 6 weeks, I can say they were right. We are totally out of the nightmare. She goes to bed, doesn't get out, sleeps through the night, and doesn't wake up until 7. If she wakes up and sees our door shut, she knows she has to stay in her room and read, and that's generally what she's been doing. What a good girl! Oh! And how could I forget to mention that after all the effort with the stickers, what I really think did the trick was the T.V. We eliminated all television and told her she could watch nothing until she pulled herself together in the bedroom. Once she finally had a good night and slept until 7, I praised her like crazy and let her watch a show! Within a week she was doing great, and watching one show a day as a reward. Here's a look at the sticker chart all filled out. I think she covered some X's with stickers when I wasn't looking. Still, it doesn't look as bad as it sounds, does it?


Now for the more fun stuff. She's been full of funny sayings lately. Like:
"it's so hard to wait!" When I tell her she needs to be patient and wait for me to do something
"I'm learning him to do it!" When I ask her to leave Teo alone and stop dominating him
"see you in the morning when the sun comes up" When we put her to bed
"they shouldn't be out on their own" When she sees a picture of a child, but no parent

Now, on to Teo. Teo is still a little lover, and is moving all over the place exploring his world. He still adores Sapphie and follows her everywhere. I have to say though, he is nowhere near as docile as I thought. Actually, he has quite a temper and reminds me of myself at times. Here are the triggers I've discovered so far:
1. Biggest trigger: when I stop nursing, he throws a complete fit. He stops breathing, arches his back, and squeals like a pig. He won't take his nuk and gets even angrier when I try to give it to him. He carries on like this for a good minute, while I keep telling him he's all done, then he finally gives in and takes the nuk. He's also got a new thing he does while he's "preparing" to nurse: he smacks his lips together and looks so excited he can hardly contain himself. I don't remember Sapphie doing that.

2. When Sapphie takes a toy away from him, he gets PISSED. It has come on pretty suddenly because until now, he was so easy going. She could give and take, and he just rolled with the punches. But now, when she takes something he's playing with, he squeals with rage and starts flailing his hands all over the place until she gives it back. If she doesn't, he'll crawl over and follow her around everywhere, squealing all the time.

3. Food. This is a big one. Isaac thinks it's because he's such a tank...but when we eat, he wants to eat too and he wants it NOW. He wants everything we are eating, and he's no longer satisfied with me throwing it in the blender. He wants his own chunks to pick up and put in his mouth. He looks around the table during dinner and concentrates on what everyone else is eating. He wants to make sure he's not missing a thing. And when he's done with something, there go the flailing hands again and he makes a huge mess pushing my hand away.

At night, he sometimes loses his nuk and will start crying. If we go in and give it to him, he sticks it in his mouth and does a face plant into the mattress, falling asleep instantly. It's hilarious.

When I start singing and (or) clapping, his face lights up like a ray of sunshine - he loves music! It's so cute.

That's it for now! And here are a few pictures:

First sled ride together

Playing in the snow


At El Gato with Aven

Teo learning to crawl
Throwing the ball for Cabot

Little Man

Teo and I are having a visit to Georgetown to see Rochelle. It's our first trip away from Sapphie and Kevin. We're having lots of fun. Today we did some walking, lots of eating and chilling out, and enjoying the fall weather. He's getting so big. xo

Mama's Boy

Teo is so funny. Such a mama's boy, although he still never cries when I hand him off to his nanny. People (myself included) are always so in awe of how much he looks like Kevin. There are moments where the likeness is so striking, I just can't believe it! I am very proud to say, however, the although both my children look a lot like their daddy, they have both inherited the highly distinguished Illingworth chin (hurrah!!).
We recently had Teo's dedication ceremony. It was a beautiful day and Isaac took some amazing photos. I'll be sure to post more soon...but, looking through them last night, it occurred to me that Teo looked a lot like me in some of the shots. See for yourself...

Here's a picture of me on my Christening day when I was Teo's age

And here's Teo. Open mouth smile, just like his mama! I think the nose is similar too. In a gown to die for, made by LaLa of course.

xoxo

Little Burrito

If you have a baby or are close to a family with a baby, you have probably heard about swaddling. As a new mom I had no idea what it was, except that Jesus was swaddled in a manger. Clearly this is a very old practice, but until I had a newborn baby it never really occurred to me what it was or why you would do it.
After having a rather fussy first baby, then being loaned the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD (this is an amazing tool for new parents!), I quickly realized the magic of the swaddle. There is a long scientific explanation for why babies like to be swaddled, but the short version is that it makes them feel like they're back in the womb again. For most newborn babies, this sense of security makes them feel safe and cozy, and they settle down very quickly. It also prevents them from whacking themselves in the face, which wakes them up. In fact, some babies (but not mine of course) will sleep through the night from the very beginning ONLY if they are swaddled. Some swaddle companies even guarantee longer bouts of sleep! Most babies only need to be swaddled as newborns, during the fourth trimester as some doctors call it (this is the first three months of life when all the baby really wants is to get back in the womb). There is also a very specific technique, which is easy to learn and they usually teach you in the hospital. You really only want to swaddle the upper body (arms/chest), and not the hips. Just thought I'd mention that in case anyone tries to swaddle their baby with no instruction after reading this.

As a newborn, Sapphie needed to be swaddled all the time to calm down, go to sleep, etc. When I figured out her cow's milk issue at 2 months of age, her fussiness almost completely stopped and we rarely needed to swaddle her anymore. By 3 months she was pretty much done with it and was sleeping very well on her back or her side. Once in a while if she was really wired or upset we'd have to swaddle her, but never after 4 months of age. Her brother is a totally different story. He is a HUGE fan of the swaddle and just doesn't seem to want to let it go.

From the beginning, Teo has been a total man if you know what I mean. When he is upset or not feeling well, he feels so sorry for himself that you just want to cry when you look at him. He cries the most pathetic cry and puts his mouth in a long O shape. Even when he was a few days old, his cry would sound like he was saying "Oh, oh, oh!" So sad. Then he would wind up and hold his breath until he was red as a beet...and we would wait for it...and then he would really start wailing! In the beginning, he had serious plumbing issues. We were lucky if he pooped once a week and the two days before the big event, he'd be so fussy he would cry the whole time he was awake. How did we stop the crying? By swaddling him of course! Teo was swaddled during every nap and every night for the first four months of his life. Sometimes, he'd be crying, and Kevin would decide he needed to be wrapped up. Then, Teo would fall asleep mid-swaddle! He's done that on more than one occasion. It's so funny.
When Teo was about four months old, Isaac came over. Teo was asleep and all wrapped up. Isaac came into my room and this look of horror swept over his face.
"What the hell is that??!!"
"What?"
"What are you doing to your kid? I'm calling child services."
"Seriously, you've never seen a swaddled baby? He likes it. It's the only way I can get him to sleep."
"That is totally sick to put your baby in a straightjacket. That's not right."

Fortunately Kim was with him, and she's got baby nieces. She came over and kissed Teo on the head and said "Isaac don't be silly. Babies love being wrapped up into little burritos."

So that made me feel better. Here's the funny part though: do you know any babies that still want to be swaddled at 7.5 months?? I do.

Apples!

Yesterday, we went apple picking. It was somewhat impulsive; we just decided in the morning that it was a nice day so we'd go get some apples. We headed straight to Shelburne Orchards after church, and it was packed. There were cars and people everywhere, full of families enjoying the orchard and also runners who were participating in a little orchard race. Sapphie was so excited. We went up to the bag person and got a large bag for us and a small bag for Sapphie. She quickly made herself very busy bouncing from tree to tree, picking apples that she thought were "ready." When her bag got to heavy, she'd dump her apples out into my bag and start over again. We had 18 pounds in about 15 minutes! After picking, we went up to the grill and got our favorite butternut squash soup, grilled sausage, cider, and of course, cider donuts. We listened to the bluegrass band play a few tunes, then Sapphie went down the hay slide a few times. Happy, full, and excited for fall, we headed home for naps. It was the perfect fall day, and Kevin got some great shots:

Super Fun

I can't believe the summer is over. It has flown by, so much faster than I had expected! I am so behind on posting photos and of course our camera is full of them. One of these cold days I'm going to sit down and put them on the computer. For now though, I've got some I took with my phone.

This summer has been full of "super fun" as Sapphie would call it. When she's in a good mood, she calls me "super mummy" or Kevin "super daddy." It's so funny and I'm not sure where she learned it. We've just come back from an amazing trip to Maine with the family, followed by a quick trip to Northampton for a wedding, then Teo's dedication last weekend. Isaac shot photos so I don't have any to share, but I'm sure he'll post some when he's gone through them. I'll be printing some out as well.

What has been my favorite part of summer? I'm not sure. There have been some big events for sure. I think my favorite has to be continuing to get to know Teo, who is now 7 months old, and watching him bond with Sapphie. I didn't realize how quickly and tightly they would bond. I have to admit I was pretty nervous about introducing a sibling into the picture, since Sapphie was such a strong personality. I was also given ample warnings about how she would probably not handle it well at all, would be jealous, etc. Contrary to my worries, she has been an absolutely amazing sister from the day she met Teo. She is ferociously protective of him, very concerned about what he is doing and what toys he should or shouldn't be playing with, and who is touching or holding him. She likes to yell at me that "he'll choke on that" if I give him something she considers to be "smaller than an apple", which is the rule I have tried to teach her about what toys he can and can't have. When she has a friend over who shows any interest in Teo, she runs over, pushes the friend away, and yells "my baby!!" She also talks to him quite sternly when he's crying or splashing her in the tub, or trying to do his "shark attack", which consists of a quick and strong yank of the hair on either side of the face, followed by a surprisingly strong and passionate bite on the chin which may or may not be accompanied by strong suckling.

The other day, in the car, Teo was being fussy and Sapphie was clearly not having it. She said:
"Teo, listen to me. I'm in charge. You see that sign over there? It says NO CRYING. You see? NO CRYING. You want me to take your nuk away? I will!"

So funny. I must admit I have threatened her on multiple occasions to take her nuk away when she isn't behaving in the car. It's really funny how she mimics everything we say. So far, she continues to show us what a firecraker she is, with her own (quite strong) opinions. On the other hand, she is so sweet sometimes it makes you melt. Teo becomes a bigger lover every day, although he appears to have rather a surprisingly hot temper when mama's tit is involved. Not only does he like to nurse all night, like his sister did, but he will not take his nuk when the nursing is done. He arches his back, screams blue murder like a little piglet and starts scratching at his face with desperation if I don't let him nurse again. He hovers around my chest with his eyes closed and his mouth wide open, like a baby bird. Then he gets back on with a wild wimpering sound (as if he's starving), then about 2 seconds later starts throwing his head back again, impatient because I'm not letting down. Sometimes in the wee hours, when he starts this behavior I just leave him with Kevin in the bed and go out to the pull-out. Cooper loves it when I do this because he gets to have a snuggle like old times.

As we did with Sapphie, we'll start some sleep training and negotiations once he's about a year and can understand what we want to do. For now though, I'll continue to be a zombie mom. I read the best quote the other day:

"The nights are long, but the years are short."

Made me cry. Okay here are the pictures from our Super Fun summer!!

Doing Teo's hair, which she loves to do. It's either mohawks or barrettes and headbands! He's very patient and let's her do anything she wants.

This is Sapphie skinny dipping up to Newport. Getting her redneck on.

Sapphie started preschool! Here she is on her first day. Liz, I swear I brushed her hair and it looked so pretty. Then she decided to remove the headband and put it around her waist. Oh well! So far she loves school, and has made lots of friends. Two boys asked me the other day if she could come over to their house. So cute!! And scary!! It's happening too fast.

This is from our Maine Vacation. Teo in the "command center", which was a very retro toy that our landlady brought over. We don't have anything like this at home and Teo's eyes popped out of his head with all the stimulation. He loved it though! He really looks like Kevin here.

Swimming!! Isaac took this shot.

Hanging with her best bud in the tent.

Morning snuggles and play in Sapphie's bed. She loves it when I put Teo in her bed, and he loves it too! He absolutely adores her, and she keeps herself so busy bossing him around. I love watching their relationship grow. XO

Coffia

This poem goes out to all the nursing moms and major coffee lovers of the world. I dedicate it to my son Teo who likes to party at the tap all night long.

Coffee makes the world go round

Waking up feeling not quite you?
Drink some coffia!
Exhaustion got you a little blue?
Drink some coffia!

Coffee, I love it.
Coffee, can't get enough of it.
I like it dark, don't you?

Need an afternoon boost to brighten your day?
Drink some coffia!
Need a kick in the pants in a major way?
Drink some coffia!

Coffee, I love it.
Coffee, can't get enough of it.
I like it dark, don't you?

Feeling totally desperate, and you can't go on?
Drink some coffia!
So tired you just can't face the dawn?
Drink some coffia!

Coffee, I love it.
Coffee, can't get enough of it.
I like it dark, don't you?

Too tired to make your own?
Send your husband out for some coffia!
Sit on the couch and wait
For your coffia!

Coffee, I love it.
Coffee, can't get enough of it.
I like it dark, don't you?