Loco Vaca

As a Dairy Nutritionist, I work with a lot of cows. I mean a lot. Once, I sat down and calculated that I provide nutritional consultation for at least 10,000 cows a week. One third of these ladies reside on just 2 farms, which are very large for Vermont standards (the average dairy in Vermont has 150 cows per farm, according to the National Agricultural Statistic Service for 2007).

The topic for today’s entry brings me back a couple of months to one of these large farms. The Gervais Family Farm in Enosburg Falls, Vermont is a family farm in the purest sense. It was founded by Bob and Gisele Gervais who just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, and have fifteen children. The farm is currently managed by five of the children, who oversee different aspects of the operation. Other siblings have farm-related duties but are not directly involved in day-to-day decisions. The family milks 1700 cows and farms well over 2000 acres. It supports seven Gervais families and 70 full time employees.

As you might expect, I see and experience some bizarre things during my travels. On the day in question, I arrived at the Gervais Farm for my standard visit and herd review. I got out of my truck with wash bucket and clip board in hand and headed inside to the office to check a couple of things on the computer before I proceeded out into the main barn. I decided to start with the non-milking cows today and work my way into the other barns. As I headed out into the barn, I decided to take a short cut through pen 4. Big mistake.

A curious cow approached me, like a lot of the 10,000 cows do that I see week to week, so no surprises there. However, as I tried to move around her, she dropped her head in a defensive posture. “Okay,” I told myself, “I have seen this aggressive behavior. I will just ‘shoo’ her away.” In response to my ‘shoo’, she proceeded to come towards me with her head down, and I realized that she meant business. All of a sudden, I realized where I was, in pen 4. Cow 2944 resides in Pen 4. This cow is famous for her bullying attitude. A couple of weeks back, Dr. Wadsworth, the veterinarian, was attacked by 2944, although he is okay now. I realize that there is no where to turn, and I am face-to-face with this fierce bovine queen. It is those fleeting moments you have to make what you hope is the right decision. I knew I was up against 1400 lbs of pure estrogen and I was certainly not going to win this battle so I decided to brace myself for the impact and hopefully if I got close enough to the rail she would brush by me and partially miss me. “Okay, here she comes,” I said to myself, and, like a bull fighter, I planned my side step. Except I really had nowhere to step at all. I do not know how I managed it, but on impact, I moved up her body on her right side and missed a good part of the blow from her head, but was rammed into the rail. That four-legged train managed to almost stop on a dime when she realized that she only got a small piece of me. She whipped around and came at me again, only this time I was closer to an outlet in the pen. I made a dash for the gate, and managed to get mostly out before she came plowing into my backside. “I made it! I avoided the thrashing of 2944!” As I collected myself, I heard the Hispanic labor chuckling and repeating “loco vaca, loco vaca!” My high school Spanish came back to me and I realized they were chatting “crazy cow, crazy cow!”

Since then, to avoid future run-ins with the bully, I politely ask the Hispanic Labor “Donde esta loco vaca?” The Gervais Family has since put a cow bell around her neck to warn everyone when she is nearby. She wears the bell with pride, and continues to hold her record of 3 and 0. Hit 1: Dr. Steve Wadsworth (herd Veterinarian). Hit 2: Landis Beyor (Farm breeder). Hit 3: yours truly, Kevin Kouri, dairy nutritionist.