New Motherhood

I still can't quiet grasp it. I'm a mom. A mom, yes, a mom. I say "Kev, this is our daughter. Our daughter. Our daaauuughterrrr.....and it still doesn't seem to sink in! Wait, is it really a girl? I was so sure it would be a boy. Yes, it's a girl, and she's so beautiful! Our eldest will always be a girl. 3 months today, and I'm still in awe. Will it always be like this?
For the last 2 weeks, I've been reflecting. What does motherhood mean to me? What are the important transitions, feelings, things to remember? Sapphie is having a nice nap now, so I thought I'd blog about it. To you all mothers out there, old, new, and someday to be, here is a summary of what I've learned so far based on my own experience and a little research.
When I was pregnant, I was talking to my best friend and mother of 3, Christina. I was commenting on how people seem drawn to me. Complete strangers wanted to touch my belly, and tell me their story. Friends and strangers alike were asking what I thought were totally personal questions: "will you breastfeed?" "if so, for how long?" "what type of parent do you plan to be?" "what is your birthing plan?" "are you going to go back to work?"...the list goes on. It was all so overwhelming! I didn't know the answers to half of these questions, and I felt like I was being judged already. Christina summed it up for me. "Being pregnant is just the first step, and once you have children, you are never your own person anymore." Christina, you were right.

If I'm not having wild and crazy nightmare-daydreams about all of the things that can happen to my daughter, I'm dealing with comments, suggestions, questions and advice from all angles. Things like "you should let your baby cry, it's a stress reliever!" (Actually, whereas crying relieves stress in adults, it is associated with increased cortisol in the circulation, increased heart rate and increased blood pressure in babies. In short, for babies it is a stressor. In addition, we are programed to respond to our babies' cries. It's evolution! Leaving your little one to cry on their own can have serious implications in the long run. Your baby needs to learn to trust you, and you need to learn to trust your instincts. Baby's cry for a reason. It's the only way they can communicate, and it is our job to respond. After they can use words, then the negotiations can start). "She sleeps in the bed with you??!!! Don't sleep with your baby, you'll suffocate her!" (Actually, I've reviewed the published research on this subject and guess what? Sleeping with your baby can actually decrease the risk of SIDS, because your baby takes cues from your sleep/wake cycles and never enters the dangerous deep sleep that can cause them to never wake up. And, as a bonus, you sleep better because you don't have to get in and out of bed all night. What's more, if it's something that feels right to you, what is more special than cuddling with your little baby all night long, and waking up to their beautiful smile in the morning? If you're obese, a smoker, or a heavy drinker, you should not sleep with your baby). "you're breastfeeding her AGAIN?! Geez, does she really need to eat that much?" Yes, she does. Why would you withhold food from a human being growing at an exponential rate?

Okay, enough of my venting. I realize that I'm not alone, all mothers go through this. And, the amazing thing is that most of the people who make these comments have great intentions! They just want to help, even though it can sometimes feel like they are judging, acting the expert, and making you doubt your motherly instincts. Christina handles it like a pro. I don't know how she does it! She just smiles and says "thank you." I'm definitely more outspoken and have a hard time not debating - I've been trained to debate and defend my point of view until the opposition has been beaten into submission. But you know what? We are all in the same boat. All mothers, all parents, are just trying to do the best they can. We all have different approaches to parenting, and that's okay. There is rarely one right way to do things. All you have to do is:

• Do your best. Trust your instincts. Whatever feels right to you, that is what is right for your baby
• Don't judge other parents. For the most part, we are all trying so hard to do what we think is right
  
• Don't waste your time arguing with people who you think are misinformed and giving you bad advice. Just smile graciously, thank them for their input, and, as Kevin suggests to me all the time, think to yourself "cancel cancel", and move on.

Look at that. In 3 months, I'm an expert on parenting! Anybody need some advice?!

Big Moments

Sapphie just turned 12 weeks. I can't believe it! On her birthday, she made the discovery that her arm is attached to her body. All weekend, she's been staring at it. It's so funny! Check it out:


Last weekend, we went to Massachusetts for Sapphie's big introduction to the Kouri family. It was quite a big weekend! On Friday, she met Aunt Maryann. We had a very relaxing evening and a wonderful dinner - Kristen and Liz made a shrimp pasta with a kick and we had some great wine to go with it. The dogs had a huge wrestling match (well, Winston and Cabot did; Cooper just sat and watched), and then we all went to bed.
On Saturday, she met the Egan clan and played with all of the kids. I love going to the Egan's house. There's something about it that always makes me feel so relaxed. They are really great hosts - the fire is always crackling, the music playing, and their home is so homey and cozy. Jennifer and Jim always put on an amazing meal and make it seem so stress-free. Just relax and enjoy the wine, the fire, and the great company. I certainly did! John is 10 now. I can't believe it! I remember when he was little...not much older than Sapphie actually. He was quite the character. An adorable baby and a mean little toddler. He loved to pinch and bite until you showed an amazing reaction! Well now he's a big boy, and chose a very sophisticated menu for his birthday dinner - flank steak, Jim's famous Italian risotto, salad, and bread. Oh and of course a birthday cake with some downhill skiiers on the top. What a meal! Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures to share...we forgot our camera. Andrew took a bunch though, so maybe I'll get some from him. We all went home stuffed, happy, and exhausted.
Sunday was another big day! Liz put on one of her amazing lunches and had the Milmoe's over, along with Grandpa Kouri. Liz made a wonderful whole wheat pasta dish with a nice salad, and she had the most beautiful cupcakes made for Sapphie! Chocolate and vanilla, with yummy frosting and a big S on top. They were to die for. We saw Michael, who looks better every time we visit, and also Matt - Meaghan's new man. We loved him! He's a keeper for sure...great personality and good looking too. He wanted to hold Sapphie, I could tell, and finally got his chance at the end of lunch when everyone had finished holding her. It was cute.
My favorite part was when Grandpa Kouri was holding Sapphie. It was so amazing to watch - she just kept staring at him, then laugh, stick her tongue out, and kick her little feet. He was totally enamoured with her. What a special weekend! Here are my favorite pics:

With her auntie Kiki

With her Great-Grandpa Kouri

With Michael. I love this picture.

With her mummy.

And here are a BUNCH more!

Back Blog

Kristen, you're going to kill me. I'm trying to stay ahead with these photos but it's so hard! I'm behind.
We've just had the most amazing weekend at the Kouri's, and Sapphie met some of the family including her great grandpa Kouri. I've got nearly 200 photos to sort through, and also realized that I never posted pictures from the beginning of March! So we'll have to see those first.
Sapphie now laughs (a lot), and smiles all the time. She talks non-stop in the mornings and loves for me to read to her. She also loves to do exercises with her daddy, who makes some great sound effects that make her laugh.
I don't have lots of pictures in this slideshow; they are mostly of our first visit to Newport. We had a great weekend with mama and papa LaLa, and auntie P. Oh and of course all 4 dogs!
Next week, Sapphie will be 3 months old. I can't believe it! By then, I promise to blog about the wonderful trip to MA and share all of the photos with you. For now, enjoy these:

Team Spirit

I've had comaraderie on the mind lately. Just now, I google image searched "team spirit". Look at the first picture that came up:

Isn't that cool? I really like it.
You know that commercial that shows one person doing something nice for another, and a passerby notices and then does something nice for someone they see? It's like a domino effect. I love that commercial. Today, for some reason, I thought a lot about this concept. As Sapphie and I walked downtown to meet Elisa, Zoe and Lauren for lunch at New Moon Cafe, I passed many people without smiling. I never smile at anyone anymore. I'm not sure why, but I honestly think it's laziness. Oh and sometimes I'm paranoid that the person will try to throw me in the bushes and kidnap my baby, but that's only when I'm really tired.
On our walk down, I saw a woman approaching on Main Street. She looked like she was carrying a particularly heavy load, and I thought to myself "I need to smile at this lady." I did, and at first she didn't notice but then we made eye contact, I gave her a big smile, and she smiled back. I noticed her step was a little lighter.
Then, on the walk home, I saw the coolest thing. Some boys from Rice High School were running after school. There were a bunch of them, running in a line down Prospect Street. Their coach was at an intersection, where they turn around to head back. He was yelling "great job!" to every runner, and slapping their hand as they turned around. Then, the runners slapped each others hands as they passed each other. They were yelling "run!" to their teammates. I got so exicted! I saw one of them walking and I wanted to say "why did you stop? Don't stop, you're doing great!" Then when one passed me and excused himself, I wanted to yell "Don't worry, great running! Keep it up!" But I didn't. I knew they'd think "look at that crazy lady walking her baby."
But maybe I should have cheered them on...why do I care if I look crazy? Why don't we cheer each other on more often? If we all showed one another a little more respect, admiration, and support, life would be so much more wonderful than it already is. Don't you think?

Paper Poops

I warned Kevin about chocolate labs, didn't I? Yes I did. Chocolate labs are an interesting breed. They are labs, yes, but they have a genetic combination that gives them their coat color and also makes their temperament different from yellow and black labs. As a consequence, along with the coat color can come some strange behavioral traits that are not typical of the good old Labrador Retriever. In short, chocolate labs are a gamble.
So when my loving husband sulked for a couple of years because he didn't have his very own chocolate lab with an orange collar, I continued to remind him that chocolate labs are not always what they seem. I had gotten him a beautiful pure-bred black lab for Valentine's Day, but Cooper quickly became my little angel and mama's boy to the extreme. Kevin wanted his own dog, and it had to be brown with an orange collar.
After doing a little research, I learned that Cooper's father was a chocolate lab. Because Cooper is such a dream, I agreed that we could get a chocolate lab from Darling Hill Labs, as long as his sire was Maestro's Canto Della Terra! Almost immediately it seemed, we had Mr. Cabot.

Here he is, 12 weeks old and cute as can be

In a year, Cabot has proven that chocolate labs are indeed a gamble. We have gotten the best traits: a loving, loyal, fun-loving and obedient dog, who desperately wants to please his master (although, because his master is very lazy with the training, I must admit that Cabot is often confused about who his master is!). In addition, we've gotten some pretty bad traits: slow learner, INSANE desire to chew everything to pieces, including Sapphie's beautiful rattles, my boots, any and all pieces of wood furniture, Liz's rugs and plants, oh and of course loo paper. He has gotten better with age, but not much. Needless to say, he has learned to love his crate, since he's always in there when we aren't home.
On March 10th, our middle child turned 1. I said to myself "Happy Birthday Cabot! Let's see if you can manage yourself outside of the crate today..."
The results of my experiment are summarized in the pictures below. Like I said, chocolates are a gamble.

The first thing Sapphie and I found when we arrived home from Church Street

A summary of the damage. Eaten: 1 Williams-Sonoma hard cover cook book, several issues of Eating Well magazine, and a year's worth of bills from Fletcher Allen Hospital. Chewed: multiple docoments from our office, my breast pump equipment, part of Sapphie's bottle, and an ink pen (the ink was spread all over the floor).

The result of Cabot's insane chewing spree: paper poops for 2 days.

Loco Vaca (part II; by Kevin)

I would like to take a quick moment and travel back to a 2008 post entitled “Loco Vaca” about that estrogen crazed cow 2944. If you did not read that post you must do so because it has turned into a cult classic. Well, let me introduce you to 5277.

Would you ever believe me if I told you that the Gervais Family let 2944 reproduce and generate another female offspring? Well they did, and I am proud to introduce to you 5277, daughter of 2944. 5277 is as wild as her mother because, as they say, the apple does not fall far from the tree. A quick history on 5277: she had her first calf about a month ago and is just starting her productive life as a milk cow. She is now in the same herd as her mom, is as wild and territorial as her mom, and has no problem pushing us humans around.

I have been on the look out for 5277 since I was told that she is the daughter of 2944 and had recently “calved in”. Well today, we finally met and it was very cordial. Not like the time I met mommy, that’s for sure! She let me say hello, take a picture of her, and then stroll on by. I guess she was not in the mood today for a rumble, but I have been fore-warned to watch out for her. I wonder what the future holds for me and 5277 and if we will dance some day like I did with 2944? For now I just wanted to introduce you to her and make sure you are aware that the company you keep is a direct reflection of the type of person you are. 2944 has already painted the canvas for what we expect out of her daughter 5277.

Will she live up to the hype? I guess we will see.

To be continued……..